story of -=K=- :: part 38
But K couldn't do anything except doing nothing. Why was that so? It was because he thought that it was T who didn't want him... so he would rather T be happy... why did I say that? Because T said something...
T said.. " I love you, but I think we are better off as friends.." K didn't understand what she meant.. K thought that T meant she will be happier if she is without K, so she would rather give up the relationship...K thought that T wanted to enjoy her life in Uni and not be attached to him... he thought that K didn't want to commit in their relationship anymore... K didn't know that what T meant was ... " its too hurtful to be with you, its better that we be friends.." that was what T meant... but K didn't know .... K didn't didn't didn't know....
So what did K do? K was overwhelmed with sorrow. He could not push himself to live on.. Whenever he goes to a place where he and T went before.. he would see the image of him and T happily going out.... There was this place where they went to eat remember? A pizza hut ... .and now, K had not stepped into that place anymore.. He could no longer do it... Stepping into that place is a heartbreaking feeling.. many Many times K went past that particular shopping mall... And many many times he told himself... No... There is no more T who would go with u ...
K didn't know... K thought... " T didn't want me anymore... I must pick myself up and live on... Isnt this what I expected anyway? That T would leave me when I am in the army.. this is just exactly what happened.... I should be mentally prepared..."
But K wasn't mentally prepared... he had never ever thought that he and T would ever break up.. He thought that T and him could stand the test.... That everyone else failed... But that was what he thought.. it was different from reality. Reality at that time, to him, was that T had forsaken him....
But what was T doing ? T was hurt and sad... Everytime she saw K's sms.. she didn't reply... she could feel that K was still blaming everything on her... but why did she feel that way? Because K didn't know the real reason.. K didn't know that she was so hurt, he tought that she didn't want to commit anymore. But the more she didn't reply, the more K felt that she was really gone forever... the more K wanted to know why, the more T rejected it... T was a girl... a poor hurt girl who had loved and was hurt.
Why would she still have the heart to take anymore of K's accusations? Why would she want to respond to things that K thought it was? No longer did she want to explain and waste time and breath to revive K, as K had hurt her too deeply... So even though she knew that K was suffering badly, she didn't want to do anything anymore... She herself was suffering as well... Man is selfish.... Everyone is. The only one that could give and give whole heartedly without forsaking you is God. T and K are both no God....
T had gave K lots of chances to change... But K didn't do it... whenever he say he will do it.. he will do it for a while.. and after some time.. he will revert back to the old K. his promises to T were always broken.. Each time he break his promise, another nail went into the fence... So at that point of time.. T No longer want to give K anymore chances... Maybe she wanted to , but it had to be K who was the one trying hard, and not she just giving K the chance and not he himself who earned it...So her heart was charred, blistered, sore, hurt, ravaged, broken, split, shattered, cracked, scarred and nailed ... but it was not dead.. Her love for K... made her heart live on....
But as each passing day passed, as each sorrowful night went by... her heart became harder and harder.... It was deterioating by the day....
T had just finished her exams... and she wanted to enjoy herself. Her exams were so horrid that she was rejecting it all the way... and what made it worse was what happened.... IT was really really too much for her to take. No amount of words can describe what T went through... But K didn't know it... K was totally in the wrong direction..... He believed in the wrong thing...
And K..what did he do? He tried his best to communicate with T.. but all he did was ask this.. ask that... he kept asking why... every sms he sent, it was not to tell T that he is sorry.. it was not to tell T that he is in the wrong... It was to ask T why did she didn't want to commit anymore... Every thing he did, he had the mindset that T didn't want him, and not he had hurt T too much... and so when T didn't reply him.. he grew even more sad and hurt.. he didn't have a good time at all...
Remember the bubble Tea stall that K and T frequent? When he walks past there... he could C he and T sitting there.. just like before... he remembers the time when he and T were sitting there and studying for their A levels.. he remember the times when he and T woke up early to meet there to have breakfast... T would come all the way... from her house to the stall... just to have breakfast with K... heartwarmingly... all these images flashed into his head... there was once when they even waited for the stall to open... they had came too early...
Both K and T loved the food and drinks there... they have spent a lot... that bubble tea stall had a certain noodle.... And whenever K eats this noodles... T would say.. " I know how to cook it too.." and K would always tease T.. saying.." haHa, the one u cook surely cannot make it" although K said that... he really wanted T to cook it for him... T would always say.. " hmph, u dunwan to eat then dun cook for u liao..." So many times did T said she knew how to cook.... But because she had a hectic schedule.. there was no way she could spend time to cook for K... and the only time when she was free... that was after her exams... and such a terrible thing happened.... How she must have felt...
She wanted to do so many things after her exams ... she wanted to cook for K... But now, there was no longer any chance for K to eat the noodles anymore... Neither would he go to the bubble tea stall to eat the noodles there.. It would never taste the same without T. T was all K wanted in his life... and he had lost T... If he could eat the noodles that T promised to cook for him now, he would rather not have any other things to eat for the rest of his life, except T's noodles.
T had many things to do too after exams. She wanted to watch movies with K...spend more time with K.... and look for K more often.... And do the things she had promised him to do when she has time.... After K got his computer.. he downloaded a lot of movies... All the movies T wanted to watch but had no time, K downloaded them.... K didn't watch it himself.. he was waiting for T to watch it with him, but T never had the time to do it.... K wanted so much for T to have time to watch it with him, and so he kept them in his computer and never deleted them... But the terrible incident happened... and T would not watch those movies with K again...
Even till now.. the movies are still inside K's computer... he will never ever delete them.. with the hope that T will watch them with him one day...
T said.. " I love you, but I think we are better off as friends.." K didn't understand what she meant.. K thought that T meant she will be happier if she is without K, so she would rather give up the relationship...K thought that T wanted to enjoy her life in Uni and not be attached to him... he thought that K didn't want to commit in their relationship anymore... K didn't know that what T meant was ... " its too hurtful to be with you, its better that we be friends.." that was what T meant... but K didn't know .... K didn't didn't didn't know....
So what did K do? K was overwhelmed with sorrow. He could not push himself to live on.. Whenever he goes to a place where he and T went before.. he would see the image of him and T happily going out.... There was this place where they went to eat remember? A pizza hut ... .and now, K had not stepped into that place anymore.. He could no longer do it... Stepping into that place is a heartbreaking feeling.. many Many times K went past that particular shopping mall... And many many times he told himself... No... There is no more T who would go with u ...
K didn't know... K thought... " T didn't want me anymore... I must pick myself up and live on... Isnt this what I expected anyway? That T would leave me when I am in the army.. this is just exactly what happened.... I should be mentally prepared..."
But K wasn't mentally prepared... he had never ever thought that he and T would ever break up.. He thought that T and him could stand the test.... That everyone else failed... But that was what he thought.. it was different from reality. Reality at that time, to him, was that T had forsaken him....
But what was T doing ? T was hurt and sad... Everytime she saw K's sms.. she didn't reply... she could feel that K was still blaming everything on her... but why did she feel that way? Because K didn't know the real reason.. K didn't know that she was so hurt, he tought that she didn't want to commit anymore. But the more she didn't reply, the more K felt that she was really gone forever... the more K wanted to know why, the more T rejected it... T was a girl... a poor hurt girl who had loved and was hurt.
Why would she still have the heart to take anymore of K's accusations? Why would she want to respond to things that K thought it was? No longer did she want to explain and waste time and breath to revive K, as K had hurt her too deeply... So even though she knew that K was suffering badly, she didn't want to do anything anymore... She herself was suffering as well... Man is selfish.... Everyone is. The only one that could give and give whole heartedly without forsaking you is God. T and K are both no God....
T had gave K lots of chances to change... But K didn't do it... whenever he say he will do it.. he will do it for a while.. and after some time.. he will revert back to the old K. his promises to T were always broken.. Each time he break his promise, another nail went into the fence... So at that point of time.. T No longer want to give K anymore chances... Maybe she wanted to , but it had to be K who was the one trying hard, and not she just giving K the chance and not he himself who earned it...So her heart was charred, blistered, sore, hurt, ravaged, broken, split, shattered, cracked, scarred and nailed ... but it was not dead.. Her love for K... made her heart live on....
But as each passing day passed, as each sorrowful night went by... her heart became harder and harder.... It was deterioating by the day....
T had just finished her exams... and she wanted to enjoy herself. Her exams were so horrid that she was rejecting it all the way... and what made it worse was what happened.... IT was really really too much for her to take. No amount of words can describe what T went through... But K didn't know it... K was totally in the wrong direction..... He believed in the wrong thing...
And K..what did he do? He tried his best to communicate with T.. but all he did was ask this.. ask that... he kept asking why... every sms he sent, it was not to tell T that he is sorry.. it was not to tell T that he is in the wrong... It was to ask T why did she didn't want to commit anymore... Every thing he did, he had the mindset that T didn't want him, and not he had hurt T too much... and so when T didn't reply him.. he grew even more sad and hurt.. he didn't have a good time at all...
Remember the bubble Tea stall that K and T frequent? When he walks past there... he could C he and T sitting there.. just like before... he remembers the time when he and T were sitting there and studying for their A levels.. he remember the times when he and T woke up early to meet there to have breakfast... T would come all the way... from her house to the stall... just to have breakfast with K... heartwarmingly... all these images flashed into his head... there was once when they even waited for the stall to open... they had came too early...
Both K and T loved the food and drinks there... they have spent a lot... that bubble tea stall had a certain noodle.... And whenever K eats this noodles... T would say.. " I know how to cook it too.." and K would always tease T.. saying.." haHa, the one u cook surely cannot make it" although K said that... he really wanted T to cook it for him... T would always say.. " hmph, u dunwan to eat then dun cook for u liao..." So many times did T said she knew how to cook.... But because she had a hectic schedule.. there was no way she could spend time to cook for K... and the only time when she was free... that was after her exams... and such a terrible thing happened.... How she must have felt...
She wanted to do so many things after her exams ... she wanted to cook for K... But now, there was no longer any chance for K to eat the noodles anymore... Neither would he go to the bubble tea stall to eat the noodles there.. It would never taste the same without T. T was all K wanted in his life... and he had lost T... If he could eat the noodles that T promised to cook for him now, he would rather not have any other things to eat for the rest of his life, except T's noodles.
T had many things to do too after exams. She wanted to watch movies with K...spend more time with K.... and look for K more often.... And do the things she had promised him to do when she has time.... After K got his computer.. he downloaded a lot of movies... All the movies T wanted to watch but had no time, K downloaded them.... K didn't watch it himself.. he was waiting for T to watch it with him, but T never had the time to do it.... K wanted so much for T to have time to watch it with him, and so he kept them in his computer and never deleted them... But the terrible incident happened... and T would not watch those movies with K again...
Even till now.. the movies are still inside K's computer... he will never ever delete them.. with the hope that T will watch them with him one day...
recorded @
02:50
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