story of -=K=- :: part 43
Many a time.. his friends.. seeing him in such agony.. told him.. " forget about her, she is not worth it... " and things like." No matter what happened, u should go on with your life and not dwelling on such things... Its very unhealthy..." although T, had picked herself up to continue with her studies with the help and support of the guy and her friends, K was not to be.. K was still in the dumps. K could not accept the emotional break up of him and T... as they had been together for a long time. K had dreams still... K dreamt that one day, everything will just become normal again....
But all he could do was dream... dream wasn't reality. During the time when K and T broke up, K dreamt of T at least 3 times a week... I guess it is called "day think, night dream" which means if u keep thinking about something in the day.. u will dream of it at night....
K could not pick himself up.. K was weak with his emotions... he lost all meaning in his life. T was the reason why he did everything... T was the support of K.. the morale support and the knowing that T's love is still there for him was his basic need... and he had lost his basic need... K wanted to study... to support her.. K wanted to let T know that there was someone who will take care of her forever... Everytime K went out with T... he never want T to feel poor... although he is only drawing an NSF pay.. he tried to pay for everything if he could.. he thought about the times when he was in JC... K went to take tuition then.... HE could remember a few times when T and him went out and he had to tell T that he had to go for tuition.... And T would wait below the block where K was teaching tuition to wait for him.. It was so touching, so nice, so sweet.
K remembered the times when he and T sneaked out of school ... when they had lessons... It was so exciting to run with T... it isnt the same like skipping school himself... when he knew that T was following him close behind... he felt so happy..a feeling of running away from everything with the one u like...
And why did K take tuition at that time? It was not entirely for himself.... All his tuition money... he didn't mind spending it on T... when K took his pay... he didn't even think one bit when he used it to spend on T... no matter what it is. Every cent spent on T was worth it... Even till now, K feel the same way.. but now... he has upgraded.... Not only monetary concerns would he spent on T... now... every min spent , every hour wasted to make T know that he still loves her is worth it...
But although T had set her priorities in life already, not K. K was still in agony... K was still thinkin about T. T may not have been thinking about K anymore, but K is still there, thinking about T every single night... K couldn't go on... the pain was too much for him to take...
so one night.. he decided to send T an email... He said something like " I cant go on with my life.. can u tell me why? Can u tell me the real reason that u are giving up this relationship? Please provide some answers, If u still want me as a friend... Everyday is like hell for me, please don't make me go through all this and tell me the truth.."but what was the truth? K still didn't know the truth, and that was the biggest joke in the world.
So T didn't bother to reply... and let K waited and waited... Every single day... K checked his email to see whether T replied.. but there was no reply.. T was really cruel, but I guess this is the normal characteristic of a girl who is hurt before.. They have a right to protect themselves. K checked and he checked... but there was never ever going to have another email from T anymore..
In K's agony, he began to like techno and trance.. I don't know why that sort of music is associated with sadness and depression... But it is... It is a way of showing " life sucks " and that is quite true... Army guys go cheong at weekends.. and listen to these... K always liked love songs.. he was a singer.. He joined many competitions before... and always, he sang love songs... he sang sentimental songs... But now, K only listened to techno and trance music...
Why was that so? It was a symbol of sadness. K wished for T to one day call him and say.. " lets not fight anymore.." or he wanted so badly to call T and say.. " I miss u dear... I am sorry that I hurt u.." but he will only say that if he knew WHY... he didn't know why...
Life is often like that.. one thing leads to another... When K and T broke up, K met his friend, who taught him the problems that girls face when their guy is in the army.... And that was how he realises what T was going through... at the same time... When K knew that T had someone else, he realised how impt T was to him.. he realised he could not lose T... T was his everything.
But all he could do was dream... dream wasn't reality. During the time when K and T broke up, K dreamt of T at least 3 times a week... I guess it is called "day think, night dream" which means if u keep thinking about something in the day.. u will dream of it at night....
K could not pick himself up.. K was weak with his emotions... he lost all meaning in his life. T was the reason why he did everything... T was the support of K.. the morale support and the knowing that T's love is still there for him was his basic need... and he had lost his basic need... K wanted to study... to support her.. K wanted to let T know that there was someone who will take care of her forever... Everytime K went out with T... he never want T to feel poor... although he is only drawing an NSF pay.. he tried to pay for everything if he could.. he thought about the times when he was in JC... K went to take tuition then.... HE could remember a few times when T and him went out and he had to tell T that he had to go for tuition.... And T would wait below the block where K was teaching tuition to wait for him.. It was so touching, so nice, so sweet.
K remembered the times when he and T sneaked out of school ... when they had lessons... It was so exciting to run with T... it isnt the same like skipping school himself... when he knew that T was following him close behind... he felt so happy..a feeling of running away from everything with the one u like...
And why did K take tuition at that time? It was not entirely for himself.... All his tuition money... he didn't mind spending it on T... when K took his pay... he didn't even think one bit when he used it to spend on T... no matter what it is. Every cent spent on T was worth it... Even till now, K feel the same way.. but now... he has upgraded.... Not only monetary concerns would he spent on T... now... every min spent , every hour wasted to make T know that he still loves her is worth it...
But although T had set her priorities in life already, not K. K was still in agony... K was still thinkin about T. T may not have been thinking about K anymore, but K is still there, thinking about T every single night... K couldn't go on... the pain was too much for him to take...
so one night.. he decided to send T an email... He said something like " I cant go on with my life.. can u tell me why? Can u tell me the real reason that u are giving up this relationship? Please provide some answers, If u still want me as a friend... Everyday is like hell for me, please don't make me go through all this and tell me the truth.."but what was the truth? K still didn't know the truth, and that was the biggest joke in the world.
So T didn't bother to reply... and let K waited and waited... Every single day... K checked his email to see whether T replied.. but there was no reply.. T was really cruel, but I guess this is the normal characteristic of a girl who is hurt before.. They have a right to protect themselves. K checked and he checked... but there was never ever going to have another email from T anymore..
In K's agony, he began to like techno and trance.. I don't know why that sort of music is associated with sadness and depression... But it is... It is a way of showing " life sucks " and that is quite true... Army guys go cheong at weekends.. and listen to these... K always liked love songs.. he was a singer.. He joined many competitions before... and always, he sang love songs... he sang sentimental songs... But now, K only listened to techno and trance music...
Why was that so? It was a symbol of sadness. K wished for T to one day call him and say.. " lets not fight anymore.." or he wanted so badly to call T and say.. " I miss u dear... I am sorry that I hurt u.." but he will only say that if he knew WHY... he didn't know why...
Life is often like that.. one thing leads to another... When K and T broke up, K met his friend, who taught him the problems that girls face when their guy is in the army.... And that was how he realises what T was going through... at the same time... When K knew that T had someone else, he realised how impt T was to him.. he realised he could not lose T... T was his everything.
recorded @
10:16
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