story of -=K=- :: part 49

K took the mrt home... The train was so crowded, yet K felt so lonely... Everyone seemed to revolve around K... he was getting smaller by the minute... He sat there motionless for the whole journey... thinking and thinking.... Never one moment did he stop thinking or regretting.... K's friend had to meet a client... and so she left.... So K was all alone... alone in the whole wide world...

Without T.. K had lost the most important thing he ever had.. That night.. K called the friend who told him about the situation of army guys and their gfs in uni...... and talked... and asked for advice... She told K.. " it is not that easy K.. u have to show her that u have changed.... But even if u have changed, she might not believe u anymore ... because u have hurt her before... "

K said.. ""i know I am wrong... but I know she still has feelings for me.... If she could trust love again... nothing is impossible... " but K's friend, who was such a great analyser.. said.. " Even if she still loves u in her heart, she is already suppressing it.. she doesn't want to come back to u for fear that she might suffer like before.. .Even if one day the things u do manage to touch her... she may still not come back to you... because she might feel that the other guy would do better to take care of her... and even if one day the guy left her... she might still not come back to you... u have hurt her too much... eventually she might end up with another guy....

Are u sure u really want to still not give up? Do u know what that means? That means ... if u give and give and give and give.. and in the end its all to no avail, can u take it? Can u take the pain? The hurt? And its not going to be a few weeks or 1 month.. It could take so long... It could take so long.. and are u sure u can do it? Its not easy K...”

K was perplexed.. but he knew what he wanted to do.... He thought... poor T... she had become like that.. all because of him.. that look of T when he saw her kept flashing into his head... she had become such a freak.. and it was all because of him.. She had turned into a girl afraid to love... all because of him.. and she , T , had given so much into the relationship but got nothing in return... If she can do it for so long... K could do it too... K loved T ... It was then did he realised how much he loved T... T loved K , and so she could give unconditionally... and now.. it was K's turn... it was K's turn to give unconditionally... whether or not T is going to be moved.. or touched...

Another friend of K sent him an sms... she said.. " don't give up. If last time she can wait so long for u, hoping that u would learn to appreciate, then now its time for you to wait for her.." This message, although simple... is what had kept K going .... Till now...And so K replied.. " I will... I will touch her one day.. no matter how long it takes.... "

One morning.. K woke up... he woke up very early.. in tears... and started to write a letter to T... K said many things in the letter... all about how he felt.... How he took it.. how he got past that horrid time.. but K made it very clear to T... he said that he would wait for her no matter what it takes... And with that... K kept the letter and put it into a present wrapper that T had given him... K was a sentimental guy.. he keeps all of T's presents wrappers in a paper bag... so he took one of it.. and wrapped the ugly looking piece of paper.... Although it was an ugly piece of paper... It was the foolscap pad that T had bought for him .. from her school.. It was the last gift that T had bought for K besides the mouse... it was the last meaningful gift... K still remembers why T bought the paper for him.. cos K said.. "I want your school foolscap pad.." and T bought a foolscap pad from her school... a normal foolscap pad that could be bought from any popular bookstore.... But T wrote... with her handwriting... the initials of her school on the cover page of the foolscap pad... K would never use the foolscap pad anymore... he would only use it ... on T... he will never finish using it... he couldn't bear to.... K brought the piece of paper and wanted to give it to T that night.... That day.. K thought what could he do to let T know how he feels... so he thought and thought...

K remembered a song.. which he and K loved very much when they just fallen in love... the song title was "everytime"... K was a good singer... so he decided.. to sing the song for T that night.... K and T had never went to a karaoke before.... And since the day K and T broke up... K visited the karaoke at least 3 times a week... to sing ....

This is what life means... when u have a chance to do it... u don't.. and when u have lost the chance, u no longer have the chance to do it anymore.... So K went to find out the lyrics ... as he found out.. he typed it into a document..... the lyrics were so meaningful for K... K chose this song to sing to her.. because of the lyrics....

It goes like this...

Everytime

Lately i'm not who i used to be
Someone's come and taken me
where i dont wanna go
If i knew.. exactly what i have to do
in order to be there for u
when u are feeling low

And all the things we ever wanted
were once yours and mine
Now, i know we can revive it
all the love we left

Everytime i kiss i feel ur lips
Everytime i cry i c ur smile
Everytime i close my eyes i realise that
Everytime i hold ur hand in mine
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find
And i have never felt this way
Since the day i gave ur love away

Save me, i fallen from my destiny
U and i were meant to be i've thrown it all away
Now u are gone
It's time for me to carry on
But baby i just cant go on
Without u by my side

We can survive it
All the pain we feel inside
U relied on me and now i've let u down
Now, i promise u forever
I will be the best i can
Now i know we can revive it all the love we left